Week two What is Success?

Let's see if I can change my picture of success.  First I want to define success as normal for regular folks.  It is not to be elusive or unattainable.  Success looks like real people working hard and achieving goals. 
Success looks like enjoying life and making life happen.  By enjoying life I mean laughing with family and friends.  Being myself, which I am learning is quite zany and unpredictable. Being myself today is just a little hard, though, I must admit.  I am at this moment in my head trying to figure out exactly what I should be doing.  There is the confusion from childhood.  Maybe, I should define this confusion.
My father worked hard.  He owned his own mechanic shop and junkyard. He could master any craft with his hands. He could repair car bodies or build a house.  He had mental capabilities that sometimes I am amazed at when I think of him.  He had only a third grad education but that never stopped him.  He was smart, funny, and did I mention, he could play musical instruments.  I don't know what else I would want in an example of success except....I keep hearing in my head my mother's voice telling Daddy he should be involved with the socially accepted.  Daddy didn't feel the need for that.  Mama wanted nice clothes, daddy wanted food on the table. Mama wanted a nice house, daddy wanted a roof over our heads. Somehow in my youthful zest for life I stumbled over the truth about success. Or did I?
If I say life looks like enjoying others, well I would have to admit Daddy enjoyed life.  If I say success is making life happen, then I would have to say Daddy made life happen.  In fact he made life happen out of nothing. 
If I say success is working hard and achieving goals.  Well, Daddy did that too.  So what is my problem?  Fear of success or fear of people?
Boy this journey may be more difficult than expected, especially if I want to be forever changed.
Maybe I will pray:
Lord, I lay my agenda at your feet today.  I am struggling with what success looks like.  I believe sometimes it really means money, if I will be honest with you and myself.  I don't want success to look like riches.  I want success to be me.  I want to content in the life that you have given to me and follow the path you lead me on.  I want you.  Can that be success enough? ......